Bella (?) Napoli

I arrived in Naples just over an hour ago and despite ample leg room, personal space, and a fabulous book (Divergent) to get caught up in heading from Germany to Italy- the damp smokey air that met me getting off the plane AND walking to the luggage claim just didn't see like home.

Don't get me wrong- I'm thrilled to be back among these friends, speeding to the base on an empty road with little fear of ticket in RAVI. But the sense of relief and feeling of "home"that usually comes witht he appluase of touching down tonight felt a bit more like impeding doom.

Um...been traveling for the past day and didn't sleep too much.

When the wheels lifted up in Monterey the fear started to creep in. I have NO idea when I'll be there again. Next Thanksgiving? Next Christmas? Will I be flying in for a few days? Road tripping?

For a planner like me, these things drive me nuts. Crazy. Loca. Pazza.

A few phone calls sitting in SFO brought me back to my immediate future as I crammed a little more California in with a Warriors game playing over the bar as I drank an Anchor Steam beer.

Why is it when I'm in Cali I want all things Napoli & vice versa?

With my mind racing, filled with worse case scenarios about things, little did I know I was in the worst flight I have EVER had: hot temperature, 3 year old kicking my seat (and crying), nasty dreadlocks peaking over the seat in front of me, meals that made me queasy, turbulence waking me up when I finally fell asleep. And did I mention that my brain would not turn off?

Lots of things spinning around- all related, causing that sinking feel in the pit of my stomach and lumps in my throat. I don't even think I can identify all of the issues, concerns, doubts. It may all stem from the fact that this time on my return I'm wondering if I really still belong in Naples.

I'm sure within a few days that this feeling will flee...at least I hope that's the case!

Nothing as terrible as returning to your dungeon after 2+ weeks of freedom to question my optimism. More like adding fuel to the "I need to get married, have a few kids, and not work full time anymore." Yeah, it is going to work like that. :)

Time to sleep.
Work, errands, and kitties tomorrow.